12:00 am- After checking in to Luxor Hotel & Casino in honor of impending Egypt trip, head to Mixx over at Mandalay Bay. On way up in glass elevator, boyfriend checks watch and remarks with the voice of one resigned, “Welp, I’m officially forty.” On cue, elevator plunges downward. At least he made it to forty. I, however, am forever 32.
10:21am- Indulge at Bellagio Buffet. Stuff self to point of suffocation. Not wanting good, gently-digested food to go to waste, Buffet staff slice open belly and display me at carving station.
12:13pm- At boyfriend’s request, visit Atomic Testing Museum. Do I even have to describe what happens here?
2:02pm- After engorging on radiation, attempt to head back to The Strip. Walk to Terrible’s Casino to catch cab. None show, which isn’t surprising considering name. Walk to bus stop. Try to wave down cabs while waiting for bus. Fellow bus waitee attempts to be helpful by pointing out hotel where cabs might be better caught. As we get just out of range of bus stop, bus appears. Attempt to run back towards it. Bus departs. Miffed, decide to walk. Walk fast enough to keep pace with bus caught in insane Vegas traffic. Feeling fit and healthy decide to just walk whole way. Overcome by exhaust fumes.
7:59pm- Take boyfriend to fancy meal at Eiffel Tower Restaurant at Paris Hotel & Casino. We dine while enjoying view of Bellagio fountains and each other’s countenances. Gamely order venison, which comes slightly browned, but basically raw. Eat it anyway to prove self to be true gourmet. Contract CWD, more commonly referred to as Chronic Wasting Disease, or if you're feeling trendy, Mad Deer.
Other than that, pretty good day.
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