8:34am- Flight to NYC. Xanax causes me to pass out before even taking off meaning body does not pressurize correctly. At cruising altitude, I awake and explode like giant squid brought to the ocean’s surface.
3:12pm- Land in New Jersey, the nation’s armpit. Confused by fact that both New York and New Jersey have Penn Stations, get on train to wrong one. Jumped by members of Bon Jovi cover band.
4:29pm- Find way to real Penn Station. Step outside into mad rush that is New York City. Eek! Too excited to be here. Step off curb. Run down by cab.
9:02pm- Go out to dinner with boyfriend at Villa Mosconi, a place he claims has the best gnocchi he’s ever eaten. Having resigned self to fact that diet is on vacation-hiatus, stuff face with everything put in front of me, including hand of over-attentive waiter. Appalled, but quick on his feet, waiter impales me with sharp bony arm stump.
Other than that, pretty good day.