Friday, October 13, 2006

Start Spreading The News...Of My Demise

8:34am- Flight to NYC. Xanax causes me to pass out before even taking off meaning body does not pressurize correctly. At cruising altitude, I awake and explode like giant squid brought to the ocean’s surface.

3:12pm- Land in New Jersey, the nation’s armpit. Confused by fact that both New York and New Jersey have Penn Stations, get on train to wrong one. Jumped by members of Bon Jovi cover band.

4:29pm- Find way to real Penn Station. Step outside into mad rush that is New York City. Eek! Too excited to be here. Step off curb. Run down by cab.

9:02pm- Go out to dinner with boyfriend at Villa Mosconi, a place he claims has the best gnocchi he’s ever eaten. Having resigned self to fact that diet is on vacation-hiatus, stuff face with everything put in front of me, including hand of over-attentive waiter. Appalled, but quick on his feet, waiter impales me with sharp bony arm stump.

Other than that, pretty good day.


Gerri Photography said...

Okay, you've caught me stalking your blog. I LOVE it! I tried for a few minutes to come up with something more witty than this, but alas, nothing. Anyways, thanks for the comic relief!

Donna said...

Up here, in Canada, we have these public broadcasters that produce these little things called "interstercials." Not quite a commercial, not quite a public service announcement. Usually about 15 seconds long and about a subject that people should have learned in high school, but didn't....

I think your blog would lend itself perfectly to an ongoing series of interstercials... it would get me to watch TV again!