8:12am- After deciding to resume some semblance of exercise routine, step out into the world eager for walk to the bus stop. Searing pain shoots through toe and up leg. Apparently after last night’s brisk 3-mile walk, I severed a tendon or something. I drop to ground writhing in pain and am hit by car speeding down Campbell Street. So much for a healthy lifestyle.
10:49am- Walk into work bathroom and am startled to find myself standing face to face with a bona fide clown. Not sure if this is some sort of corporate motivational experiment, I honk her big, red plastic nose. She then gives me the world’s longest swirlie until I stop the struggle.
12:34pm- Sitting in atrium of the Rincon Center finishing off the delicious shewerma platter that I pretty much get every day now from Arabi. An explosive sound erupts above the food court chatter. The ground shakes violently. Turns out that while an employee was trying to push it back to wherever it lives, a leg from the noon-time piano fell off and said piano has smashed to the ground. Too late for me, however. Convinced of a terrorist attack, I am blown to bits. My image and likeness is then used by GOP to sweep November elections.
Other than that, pretty good day.