10:07am- First documented case of strep throat of the vulva from sitting on uncovered toilet seat after watching Myth Busters episode where they tested germs on various surfaces in the house and found toilet seats to actually be cleanest by far. Guess you can’t believe everything you see on TV.
1:02pm- Walking back to work, stomach seizes with gas cramps (which has been happening daily since starting this new assignment due to the fact that the bathroom is never, ever, EVER empty). Stop in at local Starbucks and create my own ass frappacino. Infected with non-spinach-based e. coli.
Other than that, pretty good day.