8:57am- On walk to work am confronted by fresh bum poop clinging halfway up links of a now-befouled fence. Airborne contaminants seek refuge in my nostrils before defeating my immune system.
12:33pm- Am directed to lunch spot named Julie’s Kitchen for a more upscale buffet option. Load up on meats. Choke on deadly combination of dry sliced turkey breast and pea shoots. Thos shoots get me every time.
3:33pm- Shoot self in head due to monotony of day job.
5:32pm- Riding 9BX home from work. Spot child with soil of some brown sort covering nose and mouth. Convinced, in addition to being disgusting to look at, it must be infectious. It is.
5:35pm- Still on bus. Woman next to me is holding her requisite pink plastic grocery bag, compliments of some Chinatown vendor. The bag twitches and rattles. I hear chirps and tweets and then a rustling of feathers. Bird flu, anyone?
Other than that, pretty good day.