10:03am- Time for another every-few-months houseclean. Am forced to confront the slimy sludge caught up in sink drain stopper. Try to shield skin from sludge with paper towel, but toxins seep in and do their worst. Blood squirts from eyes. Froth dribbles from lips. Boyfriend finds me lying on ground and rolls his eyes before discovering lack of pulse.
10:54am- In another moment of housecleaning discomfort, decide to tackle kitchen trashcan lid. As I scrub and scrape a befouled plastic lid, flip through mental rolodex of all things thrown out in past year. Conclusion: collective infection rate VERY high.
1:01pm- As treat for good job on house, boyfriend and I do caloric splurge at Joe’s Cable Car Restaurant for burger, fries and the most delicious of chocolate malts. Snarfing my shake with abandon, am victim of esophageal freeze.
Other than that, pretty good day.