12:02pm- After a year of trusting my brokerage account to an Ameriprise advisor I met at a burger joint called Clown Alley, portfolio is as limp as a non-Vlasic pickle. As if living during Black Friday, decide to jump out office window in despair. Window only one story off ground. Am not making good decisions.
5:16pm- Take stick of butter out of fridge. Realizing it has been in there for over year, give it tentative sniff. Not smelling much offensive, dart tongue out to lick exposed end. Instant death.
Other than that, pretty good day.