Friday, January 13, 2006

Beware of Cheese

7:30am- Heart attack/stroke combo. Chest pains. Numbness in right leg. Dull pressure in head.

9:07am- Crushed by FedEx truck while crossing Broadway and Front. Truck drove up over curb and toppled over. No time to run.

10:50am- Electrocuted while walking over metal grate made hot by unseen, downed live wire.

12:15pm- Choked to death on oversized glob of mozzerella cheese topping my French Onion soup at MacArthur Park. Swallowed without chewing properly. Half went down while other half blocked air passage. Failed to cough it all up before passing out.

5:06pm- Car crash. Attempted to merge across 3 lanes of highway traffic from I-280 to 101-S in order to make my exit. Failed to see SUV in blind spot. Flung off road like an ant off a picnic blanket.

11:19pm- Drive-by shooting victim. While sitting in house creating first blog entry, errant bullet from drug dealer's gun pierces side of house and strikes me down.

Other than that, pretty good day.

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