1:13pm- Another plane crash. Jesus, how many of these jumbo-sized, Insta-Kill® machines will I subject self to this year?
5:57pm- Arrive in Raleigh. Pick up rental car, merge onto highway. Immediately run off road by thick-necked driver of pickup truck sporting pair of dangling gold-plated testicles on back hitch.
6:04pm- Meet girlfriend’s cute new baby for first time. Imagine trying to give birth to something so large. Split open. Bleed out.
Other than that, pretty good day.