Monday, July 24, 2006

Do Your Balls Hang Low?

1:13pm- Another plane crash. Jesus, how many of these jumbo-sized, Insta-Kill® machines will I subject self to this year?

5:57pm- Arrive in Raleigh. Pick up rental car, merge onto highway. Immediately run off road by thick-necked driver of pickup truck sporting pair of dangling gold-plated testicles on back hitch.

6:04pm- Meet girlfriend’s cute new baby for first time. Imagine trying to give birth to something so large. Split open. Bleed out.

Other than that, pretty good day.


puppy thompson said...

i just wanted you to know that these testicle hitches are available online at

How I Died Today said...

fantastic! they'll look great on my Miata.