Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Pariah At The Piranha Exhibit

11:06am- Wake up and head over to place where eldest nephew is staying since he never came back night before after peeling out half-cocked. Knock on trailer door in area youngest nephew describes as “the total ghetto.” Kid who answers door is white, but wearing silver grill on his teeth and basketball t-shirt that goes down to knees. He mistakes me for narc and pops cap.

11:08am- Enter trailer and am introduced to another guy and 4 girls, two of which I find out later are only 14 but still spent whole night partying unsupervised. Am told oldest nephew is at store, so must remain in liquor-soaked trailer being stared at by girls overtly-hostile towards me. Youngest nephew tries to break ice by declaring, “she’s in a band.” Feel like oldest, uncoolest dork in world. One unfit to live.

11:32am- Oldest nephew in tow, head to aquarium to see pretty fish. Stick hand in supposedly hand-sticking-in-friendly tank, but pull back stump.

2:15pm- Head to beach. Go fishing off pier with nephews, using squid as bait. Look down at water and see school(?) of jellyfish floating by as well as man illegally fishing for shark. This recipe for disaster unfolds as such: nephew fake throws squid at me, I jump backwards, fall over railing, stung by unrelenting jellies, attacked by shark.

4:13pm- Driving to area community college to drop off nephew with grandmother before heading on to Myrtle Beach, SC, cut into lane of traffic in front of another macho pickup truck driver (this time hitch is ball-less). He sticks finger out window and pretends to shoot me to express his disapproval. Surprisingly, finger-gun is loaded.

Other than that, pretty good day.

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