9:14am- Colon blow. Miscalculating intensity of constipation caused by Tylenol with Codeine, am forced to birth feces so large that anus unable to fully expand. While blood gushes down legs, stupidly try to flush toilet causing rather spectacular clog. Staunch blood flow, but die of embarrassment.
10:10am- While driving to Sears to buy toilet auger, blood loss overwhelms me. Pass out and hit guardrail. Am happy not to have to return to house to deal with clog. Poor boyfriend.
Other than that, pretty good day.