Fricasseed Me

3:32am- Can’t sleep. Go into other room so as to not wake boyfriend. Set up futon. Still can't sleep. Toss. Turn. Move to floor. Noises bothering me. Put in earplugs. Jason from Friday the 13th franchise sneaks into room hovers axe above me and then lops off head. Now I can sleep forever.

4:51am- Start thinking about how we must use gas grill more often this summer. Imagine myself dealing with propane tank and it exploding in my face. Prophetically, tank explodes in real life catching house on fire. No escape.

7:44am- Discover reason for insomnia. Food poisoning from last night's dinner at 33 Crossing The Bar Restaurant & Lounge. Apparently they specialize in Indian French fusion with a touch of trichinosis. First clue should have been when I went to take last sip of chardonnay and bottom of glass looked like the crotch of my bathing suit after long day at the beach.

8:57am- Is Kaopectate supposed to taste like spoiled milk? Oh god, why didn't I check the expiration date first?

Other than that, pretty good day.