4:03am- Wake up appalingly early to head down to 1906 earthquake memorial celebration. Get layer of flesh caught in zipper of period costume. Pass out, impaled on parasol handle.
5:12am- Bow head for moment of silence commemorating those who died in 1906 Great Earthquake and Fire. Am pummeled by pile of bricks thrown from hi-rise buildings staged to make event seem more authentic.
5:13am- As fire engine sirens pierce the skies, Lotta’s Fountain makes to crumble atop the 12 remaining earthquake survivors. After having heard many stories of bravery from 100 years past, I lunge in front of fountain, catching full brunt of its destruction. At least these 100+ aged people will enjoy a few more years of life at my expense.
Other than that, pretty good day.