9:55am- Boyfriend starts car before opening garage door. Carbon monoxide overwhelms us both quickly.
9:56am- Boyfriend opens garage door while I’m walking behind his parked car. Door opens revealing 2 giant rusty nails which deftly find their way into my eye sockets. Then car slips out of gear backing over and crushing me.
9:32pm- Finding myself too tired to perform Richard Bitch show at Hotel Utah, down giant cup of coffee. Unaccustomed to effects of caffeine, heart starts pounding wildly, palms sweat, hands shake. I get on stage and halfway through first song collapse on audience member wearing metal spikes on his leather jacket.
Other than that, pretty good day.