1:53pm- Suffer aneurism at British Airways counter at San Francisco International Airport while trying to buy tickets to South Africa. Extremely unhelpful British Airways representative, Penelope Bowles, and her bad dye job elevate my blood pressure to immeasurable heights. The worst part? She was American and so did not have charming accent that might have saved my life.
2:32pm- While voiding bladder in international terminal’s airport bathroom, am exposed to bird flu virus. Am excited for notoriety of being first US case, but fail to live long enough to make it on Good Morning America or Larry King Live.
4:14pm- Starve to death at SFO airport short-term parking facility after futilely searching floor after floor for car. Even try to stalk prey for sustenance, but turn out to be lousy hunter. Body found by security vehicle shortly after demise.
Other than that, pretty good day.