12:12pm- Bitten by venomous snake belt. Actually, what I thought was poisonous snake slithering across living room floor turns out to be haphazardly discarded leather belt. But still!
1:44pm- While driving on Bay Bridge, spot woman wearing headscarf driving strangely-shaped dark van filled with explosives. Get pissed at 9/11 attackers and Bush administration for causing me to jump to stereotypical conclusions. In spite of attempt to purge thoughts from brain, am blown up halfway across bridge.
Other than that, pretty good day.
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All the ways I meet my demise on a given day. These scenarios play out as overly dramatic movies in my head daily, hourly, sometimes by the minute. Eventually, I suppose, one of them will be correct. Until then, this is how I died today...
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2006
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March
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- Sunny And Succulent San Diego
- Oh, How It Burns
- Pat Roberson Made Me Die
- Chili Today, Hot Tamale
- House Cleaning Casualties
- British Airways Non-Stop Frustration
- And The Band Played On
- Death, Not Just For Breakfast Anymore
- Snakes Alive!
- Don't Worry, I Stopped the War
- It's a Real Gusher
- Glass Menagerie
- Step On Up, Don't Be Shy
- Primer Is My Favorite Color
- Flame-Broiled
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March
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