Sunday, March 26, 2006

House Cleaning Casualties

1:02am- After a delicious chicken and asparagus dinner and too much champagne at friend’s house in Oakland, fall asleep during drive home. Luckily, boyfriend is driving. Unluckily, he falls asleep too.

1:21am- Caught unaware, am overcome by noxious asparagus pee fumes. Pass out and hit head on bathroom sink.

9:55am- During scrupulous spring house clean, dislodge speck of dust that turns out to be rare viral spore. Causes indescribably unpleasant ebola-like symptoms.

1:02pm- It’s me and a bottle of Fantastik all-purpose cleaner. Trapped. In poorly ventilated room. For hours.

1:06pm- What happens when you mix Fantastik and gas stove fumes? If you guessed “big boom,” you’re invited to speak at my funeral.

Other than that, pretty good day.

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