8:15am- Stress. Lack of sleep. Must ask boss for month off to travel to Africa. Before I can ask, pressure in brain causes spectacular explosion. Could have charged viewing fee if only gray matter came in array of colors.
9:04am- My poor arterial walls get no rest today. The relief of finally asking for time off causes blood pressure to drop too suddenly. Heart stops pumping.
7:11pm- Forced to wait for answer to Africa request. Anticipation leads me to debaucherous St. Patty’s Day party where I drown sorrows in Jägermeister shots. Would have become San Francisco General's blood alcohol level record holder had I lived.
Other than that, pretty good day.