Absolutely Catty

11:12am- Drive from Etosha to Okonjima and the Africat Foundation uneventful until we miss turnoff and get rammed from behind pulling off road to turn around.

11:15am- Once inside entrance gate to Africat, still must drive over 15 kilometers. Road is unkempt and covered with thick red sand. Oversized pothole punctures gas tank. Hot desert sun bears down on sand. Sand acts as hyper-reflective magnifier causing smoldering and then combustion of dry twig. Twig ignites gasoline trail up into tank. Blows us to bits. Cats feast on our cooked flesh.

12:03pm- Sit down in lovely courtyard to enjoy sumptuous lunch at Okonjima Main Camp. As we eat, arthritic, ancient warthog ambles into view, takes piss right in front of us and then flops down in sand pit. Am so startled and amused, choke on oversized piece of roast chicken. Boyfriend unskilled in art of Heimlich maneuvering.

4:20pm- Hop into first authentic safari-vehicle of the trip to go on leopard tracking expedition. Miss 1st step of hop. Smack head good.

4:23pm- Guide bravely opens series of gates by getting out of vehicle so we can enter leopard sanctuary to begin adventure. As soon as we drive through, lion bounds out of brush and promptly tears head off. Guide confused as no lions have ever been released in this area.

5:10pm- Spot leopard. Am throttled by boyfriend for using bad pun.

7:32pm- Sit down to dinner with tableful of strangers. Meet fascinating German couple. Husband is cartographer and spends much time in Luxor, Egypt. Off to side, annoying English woman and her mum prattle on about nothing. Am forced to feign interest while boyfriend gets to pick brain of German. Force of feigning causes brain hemorrhage.

9:02pm- Scent of aged warthog relaxing in front of fire pit overwhelms senses, causing me to swoon face-first into delightful water feature on way back to room.

9:20pm- Walk through dark to sit in tiny open-faced building built to view game at night. Scraps from dinner are scattered about and then guide shines light on area as we wait. Giant porcupine comes to feast. I sneeze and quills are shot in my general direction. Porcupine quite accurate with aim.

Other than that, pretty good day.