Don't Be A Hater

11:05am- Drive along South Africa's stunning coastline. Dramatic scenery and winding roads prove to be too much of distraction.

12:12pm- Stop car to take photo of picturesque rock formation. Think I'm zooming camera in for closer shot, when actually am walking closer. Fall off cliff.

12:43pm- Famished. Drive into charming town called Betty's Bay. Happen upon Camelot Restaurant, a random Knights of the Roundtable-ish-themed establishment in middle of nowhere. Order time-period-divorcing schnitzel with cheese sauce. Boyfriend orders seafood pizza which looks like beach at low tide atop crust. Fat and happy from meal, fall asleep only to awake in dank dungeon where am bit by bubonic plague carrying rat.

7:17pm- Ready to relax from long day of driving, order drink at Zebra Crossing Bar and Restaurant in Hermanus. Not two sips in, witness 20-something asshole walk into bar nonchalantly wearing swastika on leather jacket. Smash bottle of wine over his head only to be jumped by his hate-fueled supporters, including bartender.

10:10pm- Ever stayed in hotel the night another guest has been killed? Once the murderer gets his prey, he comes after you.

Other than that, pretty good day.